Spankhaus - Andycin (Ask Your Doctor)

Are you suffering from chronic spinsterism or frequent to moderate bouts of depression? Andycin is the solution to your relationship needs. If you've given up on finding that special someone, Andycin is right for you!

Apolitical - Civil Defense Message

Music video produced using civil defense and educational film footage from the early 1950s. This is one of my older videos (08/05/07).

Organic Whole Grain Steak with 100% Soy

This afternoon, the wife and I had a lovely stroll through St. Lawrence Market – and while I love the place, I’m always hesitant to go. Part of the reason is, again, laziness.
There’s a lot of walking involved. The one unpleasant thing about the market: plenty of slow-walkers. It can be frustrating when you get stuck behind the couple or clique taking their time through the aisle, staring off into no particular direction.

I support meat and cheese. My vegan wife does not. It was difficult to stay away or stop myself from buying a month’s worth of fresh fish, meat, cheese and bread, but I managed. We did end up getting a hell of a lot of organic fruit and vegetables; which, I’m sure, will come in handy for that apricot, tofu, pineapple medley I’ve heard so much about.

I’m not to sure if the punctuation in that last sentence is correct. Let’s just assume it is and move on.

No animal products this time around; but I did sneak off for a hot dog. I’m not talking about those grocery store “12 in a pack” mystery wieners. This was the good stuff. Well, as good as any hot dog can get. Yes, I know. Hot dogs should not be trusted. I’m sure it’s all true, but I can’t help myself.

This is all very fascinating. “Hey, Ma! Some guy on the internet wrote about his shopping habits.” In my defense, I’m not feeling all that creative. It probably would be best to stop typing and turn to the set for a little Frisky Dingo action.

That’s all. Thanks.

Photo by wanless.

The Rich, Full-Bodied Smell of Success

For the past couple of weeks, I've been finding new and exciting ways to merge my existing social networking accounts and RSS feeds into second party aggregation tools without actually posting original content. I'm slowly slipping from my self-declared prosumer status to some guy who habitually Diggs articles on Free Trade or The Kids in the Hall. Guess which topic is my favourite. It's a fun game. You should try it.

What else is new? The Pope came down to the US for a short "How do you do?" Obama's "elitism" may cost him the election (supposedly). Public transit in Toronto may go on strike. I still haven't watched this season of Heroes, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm not missing much. In terms of me keep tabs with current events, that about it.

Now for the fun stuff. After a decade-long losing streak in Tim Horton's "Roll Up the Rim" promotion, I finally won. Three free large coffees. I've cashed in the first cup. Delicious.

Photo by raptortheangel.

Howard the Duck Demands Your Respect

There is a way to transform a tepid script, bad puns, and subtle bestiality into a well-orchestrated social experiment. It’s Howard the Duck.

As a kid, I was a fan. Lea Thompson, Tim Robbins, and a little person (either a kid or “little person” in the PC sense) in a $5 Million duck suit. Plus there were lasers, alien demon monsters, and Jeffrey Jones. It’s difficult not to watch any of Jones’ movies in a different light after that recent scandal (we’ll probably get to that another time). That aside, the movie does not get the kind of respect it deserves.

Riddled with bad puns? You bet! Normally, this kind of writing could easily be dismissed as a lazy attempt at humour. The quips are so bad, and so frequent, that it eventually washes over you like a warm tub of butterscotch – delicious, but uncomfortable. It becomes enjoyable on a different level – a level which usually involves some kind of mood altering substance or tequila shots.

The script aside, I still like it. Maybe I’ll understand why I can’t get enough of it. Probably nostalgia for the most part. I was big into comic books as a kid, but I never read the original Howard comics. I’ve heard they’re good, a little more biting than the movie (maybe I’ll hunt down a copy one day); but it takes a lot of courage to spend that much time, money, and energy to what I suspect was an elaborate inside joke.

“So, George. You’ve created a unique sci-fi universe, if not a religion, which earned you millions of dollars in box office revenue and ensured your place in pop culture history. What’s next?”

“I’m producing a duck movie.”

Nice work.

Photo by uuuhyeah.

Lazy Sod Attempts Getting Back on Horse

I haven't given the care and attention to this blog for a while. I've primarily used it to host my videos and little else. I've only recently made modifications - both aesthetically and practical. BlogCatalog, MyBlogLog, etc. I figured it was time to contribute something.

My background is in creative writing (my major in university), and I've spent the last few years as an advertising copywriter; but beyond that, I haven't written anything personal for a long time. I've made excuses and justifications (writer's block, my work schedule, laziness, apathy). I guess it was just time for me to do something about it.

Back in the day, and by day I mean at least a couple of years ago, I kept a blog and updated it on a regular basis - perhaps too regular. Nothing groundbreaking or insightful; only a few observations translated through sarcasm and the need for attention. Stepping back into it, I can't really say what the primary focus will be.

Some topics may include political and social commentary, news articles, creative commons photography, and perhaps the occasional attempt at short fiction - something more than just the occasional stock footage mash-up. Let's get started.

So...flouride in the water, eh? Wow. Just...wow.

Meh. At least it's a start.